depression me.

2007-07-03T22:06:00.001+08:00

MOVED.

2007-05-24T15:44:00.001+08:00

i still miss you.

wth ):

oh freak. im such an idiot for being so silly.

2007-02-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

terrible headache now /: went to cut hair today and i think it looks abit weird now.. & it reminds me of _ ! :(

Oh, i like ppl to tag me (: tag replies:

yin; haha okay! know you love sch now la. drop me a testi stil (:

xiang; you can finally tag! :D if cannot, you can leave a comment at my Lj though i dont blog there.

Shy one; I know. but it really seem so not possible to jus put things behind ): anyway you can talk to me too if you want (:

GP; I know la haha, i told you before i like that line too! though i wish so very much that its not true. you take care too (:

I never used to rmb my dreams. But since some time back, someone lamely said she had "trained" me to rmb them. Had a funny dream a few nights ago which involved me and na..

na: are you les?
me: HUH, why you ask this!?
na: ehh cos i think you and ... ... *smiles*
me: erps. i like cute guys de okay! though i think ive kjz that you n yin USED TO have. haha!
na: well, but you may be bi what! *giggles*
me: tsk.
(the dream ended off jus like that :\ ) it set me thinking.

All i want is our usual random converstaions and such msges like this agn. & the love which you used to give me, is it too much of me to ask for? Stil loving you if u care.
21/9 *.*AHH DEAREST <3>always say the sweetest things.. c la i wanna cry le! u matter alot! if u din appear, my life wld still suck, w/o you i cant breathe any longer =(
2/10 *.* aww dearest!! <3>sumtimes i oso wonder how drasticalli my life wil change wif u in sch no more =( u may not'v chosen ds.. but dearest's part of my life^^
6/10 DEAREST!!<3>oh gosh.. u nv fail to make me smile to my hp can?! *.* ur the onli person who makes me smile frm the bottom of my heart =D LUV U ALOTALOT!
7/10 dunno wad to say to dearest anymore.. even words have lost out to my luv for u!!^^ i'll give u all the hugs in this world if it makes u happy =D

2007-02-25T23:19:00.000+08:00

我一直都以为我们（我相信你和我至少曾经是“我们”）能像童话故事一样有美好的结局。有一点小插曲没关系，因为这会让我懂得更珍惜你。当我再次感受到当初熟悉的快乐时，你不声不响地又把我推入谷里。

i know the 'She happy I happy" theory never work. cos i tried before, and in the end, all i felt was jealousy and disappointment. seeing someone you care for being happy and all yet you're hurting inside, doesnt feel a tiny bit good at all. Or maybe, jus maybe, its only me.. im too selfish? i dont know. if thats the case, then i want to be the villian here.. heck care abt your own feelings and jus bear with me (though i know something's thats one sided is worth nothing) ! i dont know whats right alrd, you know very well how much you mean to me yet you choose to ignore everything. this had been draggin on for so long yet im still holding on, i feel silly.. and damnit helpless cos im not like you, na de qi, fang de xia. I gave you my promises but it seems that i dont have your trust. Why why why, a question i often ask myself now.

Will there ever be a Us again? does Happily Ever After exist? people say Forever is just a lie, prove me wrong pls.

sudd thought of something that jo and my sis often suan me, which is wei jian still havent release his first album yet! /: but its okay! I will wait. i wont give up on someone i like that easily. im not san fen zhong re du kind, i yearn for 'always'.

是你在那个雨季　走进我生命
带着一点任性和温柔的表情
是你在那个雨季　赶走乐孤寂
温暖的笑容换我仅有的坚定
天上一万颗星星　我却只看见你
要说这是幸运还是不可思议
身边有太多风景　我却停在这里
说我傻得可以　还不是因为你
\sang by xiao gui and (i think) zhuo wen xuan! think this song's really nice and sweet^^

2007-02-24T23:47:00.001+08:00

today's unit day. pretty okay, played ball mostly (: joined in the game btwn sec1 & sec4s and i scored one for sec1s! HAHA okay big deal -.- qte nice catchin up with squadmates, we're gna meet next sat agn! :D

jo, becca, xiang: hey sorry, i was kinda awitched off to the dont-feel-like talking mode /: dont worry abt me, i will be alright, at least i hope i wld. <3>

i was so fkin upset that i cried on the bus ):

i felt terrible today. it seems like everything's back to square one agn.. why is this so? i reali dont understand. I gave you my promises but you dont trust me do you? can i repeat agn, i dont make empty promises. believe me pls? am i stubborn or what. Still, love you.

on a random note, the two bags i bought yest are bought cos sch's starting soon! yes SCHOOL. i dread this word after slacking at home for months. i dont want to be a 17yearold, so old! i seriously miss stnicks. & i sudd realise i miss smsin durin lessons alot /: heh still rmb my classmates were surprised im actually not guai lyk i looked -blinks- HAHA! ok whatever. thinking of those times jus make me more emo than ever.

hahaha, i jus created a Lj acc for fun.

2007-02-23T19:12:00.000+08:00

jus came home from shopping from jurong point and causeway point. bought 2 bags and deodorant! didnt got my wallet yet though ): going out for dinner soon.

bus ride home jus now and the drizzle made me think. & partly cos Woodlands int made me thought of someone.

Unit day tmr!

i will be alright tmr, praying hard.

2007-02-22T22:37:00.000+08:00

Hey, please tell me I do mean something to you.

i dont know what is the situation now. im scared.

i hope you cheer up too. thank you, i'll stay strong, no worries (:

2007-02-22T01:02:00.000+08:00

cny was okay, though i feel the mood isnt reali, there /: but well, it started bad for me and i felt terribly LOUSY. i had hoped you would be here when i needed you.

okay and now i regret asking stuff abt you. feeling damn ): now.

2007-02-16T23:47:00.000+08:00

went partyworld at bishan today with chris, yin, viv, mao, yz, wei and ru. we got quite HIGH la! took off shoes and and started jumping on the sofa XDD everyone either sang (screamed) tgt or 2 or 3 of us at one time! haha the i only had one SOLO, singing half of jay's lang man shou ji :D (ps, WE SHALL GO KBOX NEXT TIME)

wth i dont know whats wrong with me agn. terrible moodswings these days. can be laughing lyk siao one moment, damn quiet and down the next.
im fucking upset, bothered, scared and worried. but do you know?

2007-02-15T21:50:00.000+08:00

yest was Valentine's Day. such a disappointing and boring day besides _ (thankyou!) , sighs, shant elaborate.

i seriously miss Vday in stnicks alot ):

(Pls dont attempt to read unless you think it's for you.)
It never used to be like this. all's not the same stil, or am i expecting way too much? i dont know. i know this kinda feelings should be anticipated when its decided.. and reali, dont get me wrong, i wont back out but just, im scared dearest.. i cant afford to lose again. i do still love you okay, but do you? i hope so. I dont want us to be a wound that will never heal, please? <3

2007-02-09T22:15:00.000+08:00

IM SO DAMNIT UPSET AND DISAPPOINTED ): i had hoped to get much better grades! i reali could have done better i guess? but now there's nth i can do alrd isnt it, but to get over it and move on. (abit i was sooo freaked out just now that i started cryin even before receivin my results! hands were trembling lyk siao that my fren had to help me tear open the letter!)

vday's coming. but there's no more sweet gifts exchanges like what there is in stnicks ): & ive no date! someone can ask me out! Hahaha.

my eyes are tired. tired from crying, or lack of sleep? both i guess.

ey sorry, im feeling guilty about _! ):

& thank you. wo fa xian zi ji zai yi du de yi lai zhe ni. <3

2007-02-06T22:10:00.000+08:00

hey i really dont know why are you guys feeling so unhappy.. everything was jus plain coincidence and we too dont feel good that the situation is like that now. so, i reali hope things wld be back to normal soon.

& omg, Os results out this friday! so damn scary /:

& You, IPIWNFY <3

2007-02-05T14:40:00.000+08:00

（不知怎么的就突然想在这里用华语表达我自己）
这些日子以来我一直在等也许已不再属于我的事物。想想让自己难过了这么一段时间，那又是何苦呢？可是不管我多么尽力的把你往脑后塞，你总仍然浮现出来。是我意志不够坚定吗？还是我根本无法做到？我真的不晓得但我选择相信后者。
很多时候，一些我不想听到的回应让我仅存的希望像泡泡一样破灭，并且让我的心情一次又一次的跌入谷底。还记得我跟 Green 说过“紧要关头不放弃，绝望就会变成希望”而我们俩也尝试去相信这具话但她认为对她来说帮不上什么忙。至于我，它似乎派不上用场因为我根本都不知道几时才算是紧要关头，也许它早已与我擦肩而过？
尽管我口口声声说，不管你最终做出什么决定、我们是否真真正正的合解，我都会尊重你的选择；其实我知道自己就没有那么伟大、接受不了残酷的事实。勉强，是不会开心的；但也得给彼此机会尝试才知道那到底是不是勉强啊？算了，我是在胡言乱语吗？
昨晚，除了谈话内容不同外，我们仿佛又回到了从前。十分怀念，情绪带有莫明的感伤。但不知为什么也觉得有点欣慰。面对对方真的有这么难吗？也许吧。还有挽救的余地吗？希望吧。
人活着到底是为了什么？

woah cant believe i typed this much of chinese using comp.. thank you if you guys read the whole thing -.- but well, it still feels nicer expressing myself in the lang im comfortable with (: gahh sorry if i sound weird in the post cos i may sound abit exaggerated plus i cant think much with only 3plus hrs of slp! got awoken early in the morn by my mum.. askin me to help my sis email smth!? cant believe im sucha nice sister haha!

2007-02-03T21:56:00.000+08:00

went shopping the whole afternoon with my mum n sis. walked until my foot got blister ): dunno why these days i dont reali like to walk arnd.. asin somehow i will start to feel veri vexed when there's ALOT of ppl.. gosh think i kp gao zi bi-ing nowadays! /:

everytime im alone, i think of nothing but you. but do you know.

anyway jus realised, everytime when my friends asked if im okay, i alws reply "huh nothing lor", "i dont know", "what do you think" and "si bu liao la". (maybe, jus maybe, i wont say i cant live without you but, i dont want.)

smth damn qiao happened last night agn. i was humming this song then right aft i finished, the radio played it. zhe yi ci ci de qiao he dai biao zhe shen me ne,

失去才会懂得珍惜　但我珍惜你
伤愈痛就是爱愈深　我不相信
你和我同时停止呼吸　每一次我们靠近
你让我忘了困惑忘了所有烦心
我把你紧紧拥入怀里　捧你在我手心
谁教我真的爱的就是你
在爱的纯净世界　你就是我唯一
永远永远不要怀疑
我把你当作我的空气　如此形影不离
我大声说我爱的就是你
在爱的幸福国度　你就是我唯一
我唯一爱的就是你
我真的爱的就你

2007-02-02T23:54:00.000+08:00

Os results would be released next week i guess. im getting abit nervous, got a bad feeling that i screwed up. but there's nothing that can be done alrd, except to pray hard n accept fate..

is it naive of me to wish that you would be there for me on that day?

2007-02-01T21:30:00.000+08:00

Happy belated birthday GP! :D

having muscle aches all over jus cos of a basketball game yest! its been long since i exercised. all my muscles becoming fats alrd la /: (eh lets go back stnicks soon to run and play ball okay?) & Some ppl said ive become thinner! really? (im happy yet upset to know that you actually cared) oh well i dont know why too. perhaps i starve rather than stuff myself when im not in a pretty mood.

It's amusing how someone can affect your mood and appetite so drastically.

I HATE MYSELF! cos i think i suck! ): so much so that you've to hide from me whenever you see me! it hurts to feel that my presence actually annoy you that much? izzit that difficult to face me? i still hope to talk.. perhaps you're fine getting on with your life but i cant even understand why is this happening!

i embarrassed myself by tearing on the train home yest! so diu lian ): & i slept at an embarrassing time of nine thirty /: woke up in the middle of the night crying. (wanted to sms you but didnt) i dunno wth's wrong with me la! why am i making things so difficult for myself? or are you making things difficult for us? i dont know.

last night somehow i was singing to myself and sudd realise that the radio started playing the same song too! is that xie men or a beautiful coincidence,

我不再开心地笑　痛苦在胸口燃烧
在你离开以后　寂寞把我逼进了墙角
不听别人的劝告　才掉进你的圈套
现在发现却放不掉　世界慢慢地变老
戒不掉对你的依靠　失去重心该怎么好
每个表情都能治疗　相思的煎熬
戒不掉你对我的好　像被关在想念的牢
只剩寂寞缠绕着我　我无路可逃
就是戒不掉对你的依靠
就是戒不掉你对我的好

2007-01-30T18:03:00.000+08:00

went back to stnicks yest. yuhui and i walked arnd, talked, ate orange bowl.. we were so bored cos there's lyk nth to do?! (yh ah, there's reali no one whom i dont wish to see! in fact, its the opposite. okay whatever.) hmm oh talked to pan for awhile! (yala we cowards cannot ah! you also lor!) anw yin wei yz fianlly joined us at 4plus which was 2hrs since we reached! wanted to take photos so asked choo to help us.. he damn funny la! oh well, then yz left and christina came! chatted with msquek and left. it was qte a short day, hope to meet up soon! (:

wasnt feeling well last night, fever and headache agn. wth la, why am i so proned to all these these days! had TWO panadols before i went to sleep! (jus in case you dunno, i alws avoid pills cos i cant swallow! so yeah, felt terrible /:)

was freakin cold the past few days. The wind used to make me smile, it still does, just that now, duo le yi fen emptiness and loneliness.

It hurts like you never knew. i really dont know why ):

I dont want us to be a wound that never had a chance to heal.

2007-01-27T18:29:00.000+08:00

& im still waiting, though i guess it just wont be the same anymore. (Same wallpaper, different feelings) miss you.

2007-01-24T23:23:00.000+08:00

nothing happy happened. in fact, im still rather upset and sick AGN! /: but oh well, not surprising that i break my hiatus since i alws do so plus im super bored now.

How i wish i could go back to last year, 2006. Excluding the exams and stress, i think it had been a rather nice year. Laughing, gossiping, playing with friends; spending happy and sad moments with, everyone were of so much fun. But now, things are different. almost all of my friends are busy in their schools and we had not met up for qte long ):

and, ive not been talking to certain people, which is rather upsetting. Many things are so different now that i keep wondering, am i stuck in a nightmare or smth. Alot of times i feel so lonely and helpless, but there's nothing i can do besides crying. do you call that weak. hahaha, i dont know, maybe.

i dont know myself anymore. really.

bestie; im sorry if it was damn boring out with me today ): know i was qte irritating. oh and hope you got what i mean in the smses yeah? love. :D

dearest; i dont know what to say, but i'll choose to stay on and im still gna cry if you leave for good in the end. and, im still waiting for ur reply and prayin hard. missing you, <3#47>

green; so, does our sentence work? i really hope that things will turn out fine for you. if not, we must try to be happyhappy? (:

gp; we havent really been talkin, so i hope you're alright! say, HAHA! (: anw im still sad that my cactus died ):

2007-01-21T16:02:00.000+08:00

Hiatus. (until there's something happy enough for me to blog)

\do you know, i woke up finding my handphone in my hands still

2007-01-16T23:16:00.000+08:00

okay i dunno what to blog but im so bored la! i cant stand staying at home these days /: kinda regretted not applying to go to any jc cos my frens make orientation (not the lessons duh) sounds like alot of fun! haiz plus alrd feeling so lousy, still keep quarreling with my mum and sis like everyday!? wahlau eh, can you all try to be more reasonable and understanding?! ); cant wait to get out of the hse on friday i think.. goin to poly open houses with the girls? haha. hmm anyway think im feeling better alrd (i mean my HEALTH not _ ), jus that my lao mao bing (reminds me of your vitamins) keep acting up! whatever, gosh cant believe i jus typed out a para of nonsense! -shakes head-

I'm still waiting for your reply <3

2007-01-12T22:14:00.000+08:00

actually ive wanted you to spell things out clear, so as to settle things fast? & so tdy agn, you've told me not to bother abt you/ you're not worth it/ you dont want this.. then agn, you said tellin me these doesnt mean d_j_ either.. Contradicting. Confusing. Asked you a qns jus now but you haven reply yet.. but nevermind, i said i will wait.. so reali hope you'd think carefully. Anw i jus wna let you know, no matter what the outcome is, i want you to be happy aft that (despite possibility of me bein hurt agn), really. Cliche? maybe, but i mean it.<3> or perhaps, i dont know.

(Well sometimes i think, maybe right from the start, u could've said "i hate you" and it might have spared us the pain. but then agn, im glad u didnt cos i doubt im strong enough to take that.)

But only love can stay,
Try again or walk away.

GAHH.. im sick! cough and slight fever. feel so drained ): oh well, jus wna say thankyou to my dear friends for your concern (:

2007-01-10T17:00:00.000+08:00

saw Gong shi jia on the tv (some repeated show) and she's singing "...xiang zhe ni de wen rou, xiang zhe ni de mu yang, wo fang bu xia.." HAHAHA guess no one knows what im actually talking abt, but nvm, just treat that im being my random self then. oh anyway i alws put on weight durin the hols but this time i act lost abt 2kg! happy or what, i dont know.

i dont know what you're trying to tell me by not replying my msges or answering my calls, or rather i dont dare to think abt it. seriously like the tag, wo gao bu dong wo men dao di zen me le cheng shi de bei hou shi fo zhu zhe shang tong wo xiang bu tong wo men de ai zen me le yu xia guo yi hou shi fo neng rang shen me fu huo~ how i wish you know just how much im missing you.

JOANNA; im reali sorry if my reply hurt you just now. truthfully i was kinda pissed off too but, i dont know why exactly either. So im sorry for that. im just, not feeling like myself these days. Hope you can understand, bestie (:

2007-01-08T21:52:00.000+08:00

i'm bored at home! spent 4hours doing housework today! cleaned and washed my bedroom's windows, walls and floor. (I almost fell down the ladder btw!)

You were there? Why wont you answer my calls? You said you dont want this too, right? I've promised myself not to give up on us, so i wont. & you too okay? <3

2007-01-06T00:53:00.000+08:00

went back stnicks with jo n becca for prep on thurs, campfire yest and cca fair today! well, everything went on well i supposed. Campfire was a success! (eh gp i really stood there and watched the fireball fly down leh haha) Drills comm was wonderful today (: the music was very loud, so somehow felt damn shuang! so i guess the whole sec1 orientation was good (:

we went j8 after that jus now. watched charlotte's web. but think i was just staring at the screen instead of reali concentrating. walked around and left. (besties: So sorry that my heart n mind was somewhere else jus now. thanks for bearing with my /: look the whole day.) i sat alone at the far end(beyond the construction work) of the quite empty bishan mrt stn for one whole hour, watching the trains come n go. dont know why i did that too, so dont ask me. i just stared into space and at my handphone.

i really dont know whats going on anymore. why did things turn out like this. it hurts alot reading those msges you sent these few days. i can understand how you felt cos i feel exactly the same! but somehow we're still avoiding each other, arent we? ); i miss you. Oh mighty courage, come find us pls!!! im praying hard.

anyway gp, perhaps you're right, i'm really a coward.

2006-12-30T16:49:00.000+08:00

went back for prep today with jo becca sa en ssica sohteng! well, things were kinda unexpected /: nevertheless, do cont to pia okay people! Jiayou, make this orientation a success and be proud of it! :) hmm think we maybe going back next week? fun! :D Anyway tmr's the last day of 2006, so here's some shoutouts (in random order. sorry if i missed you out cos im currently not in the right mind to think too much)! :

JOANNA; hey my bestie! so the new year is coming and we're leaving sn for the next stage in our life soon. its really amazing how we became bestfriends from distant squadmates yeah? we werent in the same class until sec3 lor! & strictly speaking, initially we were kinda of opposite personalities! HAHA but now, i became abit louder and you've toned down (: really thank you for being there for me, supporting me whenever you can. Sometimes, there're things i keep to myself and i really appreciate that you understood why i didnt tell you. :D u're a great friend my dear <3>

REBECCA; my bestie #2! You're the smartest among us 3 lor! must help me if i ever do go jc ah! HAHA! well, there's this period of time when we didnt manage to talk much cos of studies right! luckily, it didnt bring much harm to our friendship! (: thank you for everything and for lending me fantastic exciting comic books (or do u call those manga?) & vcds! although you might be abit slow in knowing whats happening in my life or whatever, its okay! cos i dont like to tell anyway (: dear becca, <3>!

THE GEGES; hey my princesses jie mei men! (ps, i still dunno how we got this clique name actually) thank you for making my sec4 year such an enjoyable one. although all the eleven of us are of different characters and truthfully we dont reali know alot about every other single one of us, it has been much fun laughing and crapping over silly things tgt! :D and of course, do meet up somedayk.. we said we'll all go back sn and do smth on dunno which year when right! HAHA! Wish you all the best of luck as ur proceed on to the first few weeks of jc life (: take care! <3>

WANYIN; squirrel see! haha thanks for everything! actually i wrote you a testimonial le lor! :D so it has been esp fun laughing with you.. talking abt nonsensical stuff and teasing others! ey of cos i wont forget alot of times when you teased me too! oh, i guess you'll get rid of your "kong ju zheng" de la! hee, find your prince charming soon hor! :D

YUHUI; ah mao! its nice to train back home with you. haha we dont reali talk much but at least it doesnt feel so gu dan ma! HAHA. well, though you keep teasing me at times but these days, thank you for trying to comfort me! dont worry la, i will be okay de (:

XIANGLING; hey dear, although we've not been talking much this year or so, still like to thank you for being such a wonderful friend during sec2 esp! & im glad that you still tell me abit of your life and i'll tell you if possible too (: oh anw dont train too much for soccer la! take care of yourself! :D

ALLYSSA; Partner sa! you still calls me 'partner', i like haha! :D although we had some disagreements or whatsoever in between, its still nice taking squad with you (: and really, i kinda miss it though plannings' may be dreading at times. well, all the best in all you do! :D

SEC4SQUAD06; my squadmates! four years of np life would have been different without you all! although we're not very close, WE still ROCK! dont we? :D

SEC3SQUAD06; my darling 20 penguins! haha jus wna say that although this ex-nco of yours might not have scold you all really hard more than thrice, i care alot de okay! xD ahaha, wish you all the best of luck in np and studies in this coming new year! JIAYOU! bring the unit to greater heights! :D

DEAREST; hey, you're the best that ive gotten and i reali appreciate every single little thing that you've done. love the messages, phonecalls and all (: thank you for giving me such wonderful memories. Trust me, you'll never be forgotten, ever. <3>

BENG; thank you my strong& smart& mature (HAHA!) beng for always being there for me. im grateful for just your presence in my life (: no matter what, no hard feelings okay! do you feel the wind? anyway do know that lian will be there for you if you ever need me, promise <3>

GP; my teamB vice cap (i wouldnt have survived without you) & combined kayaking capsizing part (malu dao~) ! heh have i told you that i loved your birthday msg for me? doubt u rmb la but nvm :D anw its fun gossiping with you all this while though its the same few topic all the time! must share gossip with me still hor! tty soon again! <3>

GREEN; specialest! we've not talked for some time but you said, we'll be happyhappy okay? hope you rmb, jing yao guan tou bu fang qi jue wang jiu hui bian cheng xi wang (: silver still loves you! (:

SHY ONE; haha its been nice talking to you (: really thank you for the messages and encouragement! Really hope that you do mean it when you say you're thinking less. i'll try to settle my problem too (: take care & cheer up dear! (:

okay thats about it! :D (To self: you will be fine. you need to!) I still hope to talk to You. Do You know how i really feel?

i hadnt got the chance, or rather, courage.

2006-12-28T16:40:00.000+08:00

these few days had been rather /: Besides sleeping, watching tv, thinking of You and visiting my relative in the hospital, basically ive been doing nothing at all. What a boring life i lead. But the funny thing is, this's the FIRST year-end holiday that i did not put on alot weight! HAHA. going out with jo and becca tmr! it has been really long since we go out tgt, my dear besties (:

haha ey ba gua po, i dont have bf la! anyway just to clarify, none of my entries are for guys. But, im not les okay.

You said before "There's nothing in this world thats gonna make my _ sad with me around!" How ironic. Much as im thinking about everything, i doubt You bother even a tiny bit? ): if you do care, you should at least answer me. i really dont know. "Perhaps we're not mature enough to let go of people/things that has somehow become part of our lives", (You comforted me with this when i had a problem abt a month ago).

Seems like nothing's gna be the same. I need to get over it, but i can't.

2006-12-24T19:23:00.000+08:00

(We've not talked but nevermind.)

anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone :D

GP; yes its alws fun. okay talk again soon! & maybe i'll tell <3

2006-12-13T00:38:00.000+08:00

ohmy think the thief who got my wallet's really kinda cute and weird la?! because, on mon morn my dad discovered that my ezlink and IC are slotted into the hse under the door! there wasnt anything the previous night.. which means that person came to my hse in the middle of the night to return me those two documents! haha but funny, why didnt he return all my cards leh. bleahx nevermind.. good thing's i got back my ic (:
oh and i finally got my ears pierced (not that im not afraid le but my mum dint give me any time to hesitate)! after that, went yuhui's hse for bbq! rained so heavily in the aftnoon la! slacked for qte some time (dvd/mahjong) until its finally evening to start! went crazy laughing & partying! & there's this time i sat alone by the poolside.. someone sudd said "eh sylvia ni zai zhou shen me!!?" (thinking i'll do something silly or wad i guess. but pls, like im gna drown in a baby pool?!) haiiyo yes, im very down these days but i wont do stupid stuff de la, oh well, at least not in front of you all. yeps. okay so, bbq ended and i went home while most of the rest stayed overnight! ANW i'll be away frm 16 to 18dec (:

have you forgotten,

I'll be there for you when the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you like i've been there before
I'll be there for you like you're there for me too

\this shall be my last post until we talk. would we? i miss you.

2006-12-09T00:29:00.000+08:00

OH WTF I LOST MY WALLET AT CINE ON THURS! >:( wth la, i never lost my wallet or whatsoever before lor! & MY IC IS INSIDE!!! this's so scary la and i seriously dunno how it gone missing! report alrd but still no news yet ): gosh.. the person who stole it/ the kind soul who picks it up, PLS give it to the police n return to me leh!!? -kowtows- im thanking you in advance!!! (im going crazy!) sighs. wonder why am i so out of luck these few days.. first's that matter & then i keep hurting myself carelessly & now! W-H-Y?! Or are these happenin cos of that matter? -wind-

2006-12-04T16:02:00.000+08:00

You dont know how much it hurts.
So what i sensed was right, you're avoiding me. (If i hadnt found out and asked you, you intend to hide from me till when? i hung up immediately the second time. I dared not listen, i was too afraid to know the truth.) ha i was silly enough to think that you had problem with the phone agn and i waited & waited these few days, disappointed every night. I even went online to check the _ as you told me to and printed them out, believing that you would get to me eventually. And yes, you did. But it was totally /: "bein with u nowadays im not myself", okay so thats how you felt? I'm really sorry for making things so xinku for u. & calm and composed i may sound in those replies, but do you know, right inside, wo de xin zai di xie. I cried so hard that i couldnt get to sleep until four. When i woke up, i wished that last night had just been a nightmare. But it wasnt. After all this time, you're telling me you arent worth it, whats the point? You should know very well that i care. & saying that you do care though, doesnt help at all. What happened has made me doubt even more if those words and letters before were really what u meant from ur heart. Promises about forever do not stand at all. Is everything just a big fat lie? I dunno why things have become like this so suddenly, perhaps im really an irritating ass that even you couldnt stand. But, is it still possible for me to ask you to stay? I'll wait, patiently. I'm hurting alot right here but maybe, you dont even feel a thing at all. do you? I dunno what and how to say but pls do sms/call me asap okay? We somehow need to work things out, right? Thank you & Sorry <3>
reading i-weekly's horoscope for leo this week. "gan qing fang mian gei bi ci duo yi dian kong jian, shi jie hui geng kuan kuo. yao ji de, ni de jin po ding ren, hui rang dui fang chuan bu guo qi lai." so true.

2006-11-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

bella notte <3

2006-11-28T22:28:00.000+08:00

ahha realise i keep deleting my posts. nevermind, they are not of much importance anyway. i'm so bored at home and keep thinking about stuff /: yes yes, im overwhelmed with my doubts and paranoia AGAIN. so what good does it do me, crying myself to sleep almost every night? HAHA. oh prom's tmr! so exciting yeah? :D but guess it also means an official close to secondary sch life? ): awwe i love stnicks and everyone there! I'VE A CRAVING FOR HIP HOP JELLY NOW!!!!!!! xDD it feels like i've to let go of you, but i can't bear to. the stars are not as bright without you here. (think you dont know its you but i wont say either)

2006-11-17T21:01:00.000+08:00

OH YAY~!!! finally all's over and i can enjoy myself until like end-Jan? then i shall start worrying again haha! :D well, but its kinda saddening i'm leaving st nics already.. four years passed sooo quickly ): but nevermind, shall just treasure what there is now (: are promises meant to be broken?

2006-11-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

6 more days. 4 more subjects. 7 more papers. to FREEDOM!!! hey green, so as said, justjust happyhappy? haha take care! :D dearest, im really sorry for those nonsensical msges and being so emo these days, but u didnt mind and blamed yourself instead. silly eh, just make me _ you more lor! <3 i'm thinking of you, wo you ni zhen hao~

2006-11-04T00:06:00.000+08:00

\ well, i'm trying to learn how to take things in stride and not let those kind of stuff bother me too much; no use holding on tight to whats not meant to be. no doubt, it hurts, but its only for a while, at least thats what i hope. time will be able to heal everything rigth? ok whatever, i dont know what nonsense this is all about. Here just want to say that i love you (now or at least once before), jo, becca, xl, yin, nana, viv, yz, mao, wei, ru, sher, amy, GEGEs as a whole, Beng, GP, green, dearest <33

2006-11-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

okay ive just deleted my last post, too bad if you ppl havent read it (you wont want to anyway) haha as if there's people who visit my blog in the first place! yeah so today went bishan lib to study. met with yin first and i went to the bus interchange to fetch her la cos she... ahaha i shant say anyting, go ask her yourself! :D then miss super yin rushed up, with poor me panting behind, and we got tables! ya ya.. then jo n nana joined us later (: today was quite productive for me (YAY finally!) but was totally irritating cos of some bit*hes sitting beside us!! they were really URGGH /: (wtf diao simi diao lor!) so both groups just "commented" about each other openly and "played" typing sms and there were DAMN FUNNY moments when we jus couldnt control our laughters XDD reminds me of one stupid guy who kept staring and tsk-ing at us!! kay whatever. went pasar malam walk walk before going home! haha such an eventful day! :) oh and my dear friends, dont worry bout me! im alright la! JIAYOU studying and all will be over soon! hurr i do sound like my usual self, right? (You) always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows,

2006-10-26T21:46:00.000+08:00

sighs Os started today but im still online now!? well but aside from hcl and chem prac, the first paper's on 6nov la, so got ABIT more time (zi qi qi ren)! hurr whatever, i'm bored, thats why im blogging la. so forgive me for my randomness XDD i dont know whats wrong with me these days.. kept thinking and thinking of alot of things and they struck me just so suddenly that i can't stop myself from crying. i admit sometimes i do think too much, but it really kinda hurts. i wish that i could just believe what i want to but somehow, the ugly reality still lies ahead. so there's no point. i don't deny i reali do wonder if everything said and promised are true. You are my star,

2006-10-09T21:10:00.000+08:00

So it's about time for goodbye, isnt' it?

2006-10-03T22:03:00.000+08:00

Please don't say it just for the sake of saying, it hurts.

2006-10-01T16:38:00.000+08:00

I can't be feeling worse than this. ahh wth my prelims reali gone case alrd. i shall rot at home when ppl go jc for the first one month /: and, im sick agn. my throat like swollen!? gosh. ANW reali thankyou to all those who tagged (: i promise i'll be alright soon. dont worry (: i need a hug badly ): Hiatus! until after Os? (if u realise, it's very soon) CONTINUE TAGGING THOUGH! :D

2006-08-30T22:49:00.000+08:00

i was happy in the morning. but later, it became such a sad and depressing day ): shant elaborate. well, what can i say, i can only blame myself for everything. i know u're sad lor. you just sound so, unlike you. if u reali not okay, no need to act happy in front of me de kaes? and sorry that i wasnt there ): anw i really hope to see you back to the sweet & silly gonggong, soon (: cheer up dearest! promise me you wont think too much? oh and, thankyou for that cute little thing! <3

2006-08-25T22:20:00.000+08:00

someone told me wind is a special gift from god (: you know i __ you... LEFT?? :D

2006-08-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

wells, everyone said im veri dua pai today! :D haha alot ppl jealous lor! in the drama studio, the whole sec4 cohort sang birthday song to me! haha omg la, i was damn embarrassed! blush like dunno what lor! then durin the talk, the principal of cjc said "happy birthday" to me too /: goshh.. during recess, the GEGEs had a 'surprise' for me. and i had a mango birthday cake! and the words on it are just, erm, hilarious. -_- then aft sch mrs goh suddenly walked into my class and asked for sylvia! she wished me happy birthday and gave me choc! haha i was so shocked la! scary can! but ppl are envious! XD anyway went to j8 with jo, becca n xiang after that. wanted to watch movie but didnt get to. so lunch and took neos! oh and saw stupid guys taking retarded neos and making erxin noises at the same time /: train home aft that and was chao squeezy! ): got very irritated la! home, and had bade cake with my family! whee~ anyway was xin shang-ing all my birthday presents just now.. and i feel reali luved today!^^ JOANNA & REBECCA my darling besties! :D thank you so so so much for the handmade cushions, necklace and squirrels!! damn pretty and cute la! u two must have put in alot of effort, i know. cos ur cant sew! wahaha! btw jo, thanks for being the first to sms me (: anw it was really nice going out with ur and xiang and as quoted " i feel so pampered today" (: just wanna let ur know, i reali treasure our friendship alot and believe me, nothing will ever change it okay (: so dont think too much abt certain stuff and just enjoy ourselves for the months left! thanks for being there for me always. i love you loads! BESTFRIENDS FOREVER <3 THE GEGEs! haha the GEGEs means the 11 princesses? (: xinru, weiying, yizhen, vivian, yuhui, shermaine, amy, christina, wanyin, joanna! YOU ALL ah! thank you for everything u've done today! the cake, top, messages, mentos and eeyore! ahem, although the acting part abit unreal, but thanks for the effort really! (: really glad that became closer to all of you this year! i love my funny friends! <3 BENG thank you for that cute sms and phone call! haha u are the FIRST person to wish me at the time i was born (: your super nice letter was so wonderful! take me such a long time to read finish la! :D anyway it was really sweet of you, like u always do. thanks so much for everything so far and you should know i mean it k!^^ ha! lian loves you alot alot! <3 GP thankyou for that lovely sms! you know, your present was the FIRST gift i received this morn (: and your brownie very very nice! i look at it then cant bear to eat it up lor but still i tasted it, delicious man! :D oh and you finally reply my letter haha! thanks for all the talks n stuff all this while, they make me v happy, really. i love you lots, my gp! <3 GREEN thank you for the sms although u forgot my present! :D haha you pig! i love you! <3 Oh and to, peipei myra jiayi suwi chuyan pearlyn kemin jocelynw zhenqin, thanks for the white bag! very nice! like it alot! :D [erm hope i got the people correct leh heez] THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO SMSED & WISHED ME! :D love! i guess this is really my bestest birthday ever. a big big thankyou to all those who made today so so special (: 180806

2006-08-17T20:26:00.000+08:00

nothing much to blog about actually. so anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIANG!! (:

2006-08-14T20:31:00.000+08:00

perhaps im thinking too much. but i just can't help feeling __. truthfully, it's not a good feeling ):

2006-08-13T18:10:00.000+08:00

Well, some things happened yesterday ); hah trust me to get emo over it. sighs but its okay. really hope that everything would be alright soon. thank you so much for comforting me (: if not for you, i would still be brooding over it i guess. Green: i miss you too!! haha thanks for the msges! (: GP: promise you wont think too much? cheer up! (:

2006-08-11T22:51:00.000+08:00

stayed back today with jo n becca, intended to study but ended up kpo-ing np activity haha! went around forum n specs stand to look at them do drills and pt. heh looking at them simply just brought back nice memories (: hah so i guess this is how it feels after a sec4 pass out bahx. so fun seeing the sec3s take the unit (: MUST JIAYOU WOR!!! :D yeah oh oh! and ct called us patrollers?! -.-'' so lame la! HAHA. anw "im tired of second-guessing everything", quoted from green. GP: thanks dear for helping me at my tagboard haha! (: Magic & sweet wind & pretty stars! <3

2006-08-08T22:36:00.000+08:00

we will get there, haha something made me happy this morn :D oh and CLICK is a nice movie :D

2006-08-05T23:12:00.000+08:00

2006-08-02T22:55:00.000+08:00

well, had maths mock paper2 in the afternoon today.. surprisingly i dint feel lyk sleeping wahahaa! nicenice! but very scared leh cos alot dunno how to do /: haiz.. oh oh yz borrowed compass from her jnr frm charity! ha random! krys was my saviour! :D she lent me her whole mathematical set haha! thankyew!! but in the end, never use at all la! errps! :D hhaha.. something sweet from beng made my day (:

2006-08-01T21:39:00.000+08:00

today is such a weird day haha! haiiyo jo say i nowadays yue lai yue ah lian?!! ohmy think im lyk such a guai kia la /: haha! OH was teased by AHEMs during recess & lunch so somehow, i got a little pissed. but nvm la. im okay le. jus wanna say.. JOANNA ; weii you dun think too much abt those -errr- stuff okay! : D luvya my bestfriend!! GP ; you look sad, CHEER UP OKAY? <3

2006-07-31T21:31:00.000+08:00

The stars are pretty tonight cuz they remind me of you. whatever it takes, i'll make your darkest days bright :D

2006-07-27T22:29:00.000+08:00

HAHA XIANG DONT BE JEALOUS! :D ahh i think i should refrain from blogging so often these days haha!

2006-07-26T21:42:00.000+08:00

lalala~ today is a very random day! haha keep saying very wu liao stuff and sned random msges!! :D stayed back aft sch with jo and becca to STUDY (: pls stop making fun of me okay!!! haha we laughed like siao la! funny things jus seen to happen. HOHOHO. BENG: sorry havent reply your msg haha! ohmy im so touched you came to tag my board!! shocked dao okay!! im so happy haha! yay must visit more often k (:

2006-07-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

ahhaha today had prelims eng oral /: hope i didnt screw it up! haiiyo so damn nervous la! as u people know, i dont like speaking in english ): haha! yeps but i FELT quite okay so should be can la hor? chao scary.. and before the exam, the hp matter was so frustrating la! get phone back on monday?! siao! wahahha! oh and thanks beng for the hug :) heez think i very lazy to blog these days sighs. PIG : ) still adapting to life without np.. heh this sounds abit werd?!! haha yay this fri going to support shooting finals!! SHOOTING COM JIAYOU WOR!!! (: GREEN: yay see this post is SPECIALLY for you :D cheer up okay! i know its not easy but seeing you like that hurts. So no matter what happens, feel free to tell me! i can't really advise but am a good listener, i hope haha (: just rmb aunty will be there for you! oh and, jin yao guan tou bu fang qi, jue wang jiu hui bian cheng xi wang. specialest <3

2006-07-22T21:00:00.000+08:00

yesterday was POP. parade was quite funny and partner scared she topple off the stage! haha. oh and the bangs at the end were so nice! :D then changed into unit outing tee and get ready for buffet dinner! haha thought we were late but sjab n gg came later. /: anyway the singings and cheerings were so deafening la! but fun! (: after dinner, went back to np room to get presents! drey, krys, tan, karen keep scaring each other la! then i was so damn scared! afraid of darkness and ghosts ma /: anw then present time! got cute stuff from dear becca n enid again!! letters from xiang n ping! yeah jo and i gave squadmates roses.. very nice de lor! heh. then suddenly everybody started crying, mostly the secthrees ): i cried too but no one saw i guess hurr. hugging was nice (: oh oh and then! we SANG yue liang dai biao wo de xin to officers (mrs tan, mrs hoo, mr tan) and presented our unit present!! haha was so funny! took photos and talked for a while before being hurried by them to leave school alrd /: yeps. stayed back in canteen with partner to wait for parents to come. it feels really weird, i can't believe that POP is OVER already ): i will miss taking squad with partner and all the people in snnp ): seriously hope that it'll just be goodnight and not goodbye.. SEC THREES: dont sad le okay! pop was a success!! thankyou so much for all the memories u all have given me.. will miss you! <3 GP: your present is really really pretty! so sweet of you! im so glad that im special haha! :D love you!

2006-07-16T16:55:00.000+08:00

yesterday was pre pop. started with games. was in group SOS. haha jess, xl, yuting and i were all zi- highing la! then was muster parade cum handover. had mixed feeling when we passed the file over to joy. held back tears. then changed into homeclothes! everyone looked great (: had such a filling lunch and took lots of photos!! then was performance. krys and karen were chao cute!! :D sec ones n twos were very funny and sweet! jess cried seeing her squad performing. and, crying was contagious ); sec threes sang. sa and i cried. it felt damn saddening ): anyway i got the helping hand award given by the sec3s haha! finally it was our squad's turn. i was crying while singing la and i was trying not to look at the sec3s /: and then! it was present-time! sa n i both got a red chair from the squad. so sweet of them to say we're their support (: probates and sec2s gave us presents too! nice! then had a hugging session! XD heh krys face all tears then make my face wet also la! =p a big THANK YOU to all those who made yesterday so special (: SQUADMATES ; we rock so hard! <3! SEC THREES ; thanks for everything! you guys were damn sweet! i love every single one of you! will miss all of you so so so so much.. its jus goodnight and not goodbye GREEN and MMM's presents are so sweet! :)

2006-07-08T22:36:00.000+08:00

haha booster session today! so funn! (:

2006-07-05T23:03:00.000+08:00

im BORED and SICK ): haha this is really a very random post.

2006-06-10T01:05:00.001+08:00

like many others, i dint regret signing up for the adamkhoo course!! its just so so so funn!! liked our trainers alot!! yy, gary, danny, amin!! YAY!! haha missed the course and the four of them loads.. they reali helped me alot, as in in my thinking etc. haha i went to pack up my messy study table yest la! and some tasks of the 36hour plan thingy. haha! anw so again, THANKYOU to my dear trainers!!! and friends la (: [P.S. must be honoured lor, if ur chanced upon my blog.. cos ur are mentioned twice haha! kidding la. lol. think i getting more random and lame la! haha!]

2006-06-10T01:05:00.000+08:00

2006-06-08T00:02:00.000+08:00

today is the last day of the 3-day adamkhoo course. so sad la ): just wna say a big THANK YOU to AMIN, DANNY, GARY and YY!! u guys are great!! :D and thanks loads to everyone too!!!

2006-06-06T22:21:00.000+08:00

laugh and CRY until siao today la. last day of course tmr ): sad leh! hurhur. 2 whole days just passed soooo quickly >.<

2006-06-05T22:31:00.000+08:00

woah 13hours straight today for the "i am gifted, so are you" workshop by adam khoo learning technologies. was abit late then the pri ava already so many ppl le la! then me, yh, jo, yin, viv, ru and ying had to sit the most front row okay! feels weird la. haha! heh the trainers were gary, amin, danny and yy! haha actually quite okay la.. they all damn funny de lor! yeah. rahh kla i know ive been blogging very short entries haha. paiseh have to go sleep early!! if not tmr sleep during the course /: ehh it costs $135 okay! haha randomness~!!

2006-06-04T15:50:00.000+08:00

hurrr i just scraped pass ATT /: nevermind actually i thought i would fail. bleahx. first class was quite okay la. really hope we would pass together!!! :D want to know results!!!! haha

2006-05-10T23:03:00.000+08:00

haha did a quizz.. dunno true not leh.. maybe abit la. heh i dun even know myself /: Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes. Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship. The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. Your views on education:You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job. The right job for you:You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success. How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous. What are you most afraid of:You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear. Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. link:http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

2006-05-07T22:43:00.000+08:00

well well its already may. MAY okay! haha time really flies.. in no time, prelims and Os will be here. hurrr. congrats mann, i dont even have the motivation to study la. rahh guess i seriously need to go attend the adam khoo workshop /: maybe it will help. haish im getting tired of everything. how i wish that time can just stop at this particular moment.. or even turn back to when i was a baby.. not having to go thru all these ordeals and problems. so innocent and naive. HAHA. i really dont know what to do. wth.

2006-05-04T21:33:00.000+08:00

haha i need comfort

2006-04-27T21:37:00.000+08:00

lalala~ tmr no school! cause is sports day! haha random la. so sian! think i shall rot while doing duty.. oops! /: heh.. GO GREEN HOUSE!!!!

2006-04-12T23:04:00.000+08:00

okay this entry is abit late but aiya, heck care. why had things come to such a stage. well, i seriously dint expect it to happen no matter how angry or pissed i was. its not as if i never try to improve. maybe im still not up to your expectations or whatever. but i seriously dont care cos ive come to my limit. wth, im jus not good enough la! okay?!! have u ever reflect about yourself? your words had hurt me more than once lor. did u ever care abt my feelings? u always keep things from me and made me seem so ignorant. yet u still dare say i take your words lightly. i wonder whos the one here. i really cannot stand this anymore! pls try to be more understanding la you! i have problems too. wth. i hate this.

2006-04-06T20:19:00.000+08:00

im so freaking emotional nowadays /:

2006-03-10T20:14:00.000+08:00

im sorry for not studying hard. hah im so disappointed in myself. since mid last year? i know i suck. im stupid. nothing's gonna work for me. my results are not going to improve overnight la. what can i do or say? im STUPID. rah. tmr's fiesta. but the mood is still not there yet. /:

2006-03-01T22:06:00.000+08:00

SICK. again. think this year i dunno sick how many hundreds thousands times le lor. haiz and my stupid computer! spoil for so long liao. now better.. but can only come online for half an hour, then will shut down le?!!! haiiyo. i want to know results!!!! ):

2006-02-22T21:47:00.000+08:00

help me do this! http://kevan.org/johari?name=sylansy THREE more days! jiayou~

2006-02-18T16:09:00.000+08:00

it could've been a near perfect pitch..

2006-02-10T20:26:00.000+08:00

got back o levels chinese result today. happy with my result la. CHEERS for everyone!!! continue jiayou-ing! my dear sec threes ; all the best for unit day tmr! u all can do it! must believe. my dear cc comm-mates ; tmr training! lets jiayou tgt okay! 2 more weeks to prelims! GO CCC!! whoa.. valentine's day coming.. still not finished with my gifts yet /:

2006-01-27T23:17:00.000+08:00

im still shocked. i simply just cannot believe it. oh my goshhh la. HOW!!!? anddddd, if so LUCKILY im the ___, i will just die. seriously. i can't handle ___ la! wth. grrr. forget it. dont care alrd. im not gna bother abt this le. shall get all __ stuff out of my mind!! and enjoy my hols FIRST. all these stupid problems shall WAIT. ahhhhh yeahs so happy cny everyone! (: anyway i actually didnt owe ms quek any homework!! -amazing STUPID FREAKING COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-01-20T22:55:00.000+08:00

to jo, sa, ping, pei, drey, rachel, jieyi (and MYSELF!) AND all those who were sick these few days: Rest well and get well soon kaes!! take care loads! : D to sec threes: good job for the welcome party!! there's still lots of room for improvement though (: so learn from this experience and all the best for unit day!!! gambatte!! to ccc: JIAYOU!!!! u all can do it!!! anw be careful when training wor! xiao xin xiao xin!! (: HAIYO think my siao ding dong comp gna break down soon. ahha so may not be bloggin for qte some time la. depressed~

2006-01-17T22:51:00.000+08:00

seriously it doesnt feel good being sick. rahh i vomitted in school. in toilet. no one knew except a few. having fever n sore throat now /: i couldnt reali talk since yest?! haiz. i dont know whats wrong with me these days. i feel damn stressed and bottled up la. but i dno who i can confide in ): i can even cry when trying to sleep lol. i really dunno. 2006 is such an impt year; but my studies are like SHIT! and i feel that i dun have any time to study la. im tired of my hectic life. im sick of being tied up by so many stuff. i really did try. its up to u to believe or not. im tired already.

2006-01-16T17:28:00.000+08:00

im sorry i couldnt reach your expectations. but i tried already.

2006-01-11T21:59:00.000+08:00

school can't be worst than this. i can reali say that secfour year sucks. haish today's chem and amaths tests were like shit. grr. im tired of all these tests, REtest and undone homework!!! think im so shi bai. wonder how am i going to handle Os. wth. haiiyo having lack of slp these few days.. im lyk falling asleep in class la! esp lessons after recess. tsk tsk think i rock man.. hahas.. hmm i MUST concentrate in class and complete ALL my homework! yesyes (: i can, i must and i have to! hiatus- until i feel like blogging again. haha.

2006-01-03T20:21:00.000+08:00

whee!! finally online. hmm got NEW specs yesterday night cos i acciddentally broke my old one while wiping the lenses. hah ive got strong hands arh?! bleahx. eeyer! my new specs looks weird on me lorhs.. so qi guai!! arrgh hate it mann!! haish.. dunno why i chose it in the first place.. think is cos the shop abt close le then sui bian choose lolx.. then i cant see clearly mah.. so ask my mum see see for me.. then she say look ok lar.. then abit i went home i tot i looked so damn weird!!! /: tdy went school.. got some comments.. sa said i look more intellectual with this specs?! -diaos- jo say i look lyk those smart smart type! hehe lyk real!.. becca and green say i look WEIRD! thats wad i think too.. tsk tsk! HOW?!!!!! haiiyo im sad leh ):

2005-12-27T22:28:00.000+08:00

today np. chao tired la. wanted to go sleep but cant get to slp lehx! grr wth. haiyo my hands dunno why red red de. pain pain!! ): bruises on hand! heh ok tats random. hmm im so dead la. hw all still haven do.. abit im going out almost everyday this week?!! gosh la. ee im starting to say random stuff. bleahx. okay fine. dunno wad to say le. anw drills com JIAYOU!!! we can do it!!! (:

2005-12-26T21:52:00.000+08:00

haiz im super tired now. finally packed my room today (for the whole day!) after much nagging from my mother. haish. im sleepy~~ np tmr. 8 to 4 leh! so long sia.. haish.. aiyoh! im too lazy to blog alrd la. dunno wad to write.. i lead a boring life.

2005-12-26T20:58:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! haha.

2005-12-20T22:12:00.000+08:00

today had meeting. yeah sa i've to agree with you.. as quoted frm u " the sec 3 squad cis in charge are definitely a funny bunch of people." wahaha. the both of us kept laughing today. so comical can! funny! hehes. hmm then aft meeting, stayed at macs with jo, becca n xiang to do hol hw, which i completely failed!? bleahx. i can't do hw in a group lolx! rahh! then tdy im lyk so zi4 high?! dey dun care me ): hah surprisingly, jo was the most sane tdy. muahahax. ate lunch. then walked arnd almost the whole of causeway point to shop for presents. heez. hope they like it. haish my mum gonna kill me la! go out lyk everyday lor! gosh tmr still going out la. shit la. so many hw not done yet! sch reopening in less than 2 weeks?!! omg. HELP!!!!!! /:

2005-12-16T22:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR SIS!!! thanks everyone for ur concern! im alright! mei shi le. really! yeps. JO: cheer up kaes? (: besides paranoia is unhealthy! [haha this is quoted from green!] YAY smiles!! ilu bestie* GREEN: i'll try to make it k?! =D *luvya* whee~!! becca's finally back from xiamen!!! gosh so long neh see her liaos.. haiz. so sad hols coming to an end alrd!! bleahx. hw havent do!! HOW!!!!!

2005-12-15T21:27:00.000+08:00

dun feel lyk blogging these days. hmm today SICK. haish. still got tons of hw la! wonder how am i going to finish.. here's a list of my hols hw.. # amaths paper ; do halfway # ~~emaths paper~~ DONE! # ~~geog revision paper~~ DONE! # physics paper # english # chinese ; but i can't log in to epebble!! # clit ; aiya heck care first la! rahh!! I LOVE HOLIDAYS!! BUT I HATE HOLIDAY HOMEWORK!!! sighs.

2005-12-14T16:57:00.000+08:00

haish. think i can officially pronounce that i suffer from depression. gosh la. think i so shi bai. sobs. today is such a sad day. sighs.

2005-12-12T21:55:00.000+08:00

today's class gathering cum farewell party for linfeng. met jo at causeway at ten thirty. go walk walk.. find prezzie for A-HEM.. hahas but dint buy anything at the end? bleahx. then at 12noon went mrt there to meet purity ppl.. abit only a few ppl came?! oh and saw jasline mam there.. shes waitin for xw la.. haha she damn cute sia.. heh shall not say wad happen.. then we waited for dunno how long then go yuhui's hse.. hmm some unhappy things happened.. but everything still went on fine in the end.. yeps. wahh im damn tired now. headache lehx! RAHH!!!! wed still need go back sch help. haiz. ehh but get to play ball lar?! so nvm. haha. my hw's piling! tsk tsk. im a bad girl =p

2005-12-09T22:41:00.000+08:00

tdy is such a FUN day! lalalala~

2005-12-08T18:05:00.000+08:00

haiz im seriously depressed, somehow. i feel so much lyk crying. but its useless. theres no point. think i so shi bai. i really dont know what to do. wth all the mixed emotions. RAHH!!!!!!! -sighs- nvm. forget it. hmm. OH! jo, becca, xiang n i are going to pay full for kz n xw MA'AM movie tix. haha. they both owe us a BIG christmas prezzie now. WHEE!!! better give us nicenice de hor! if not... .. hahas. haiiyo. dno wad to say le. no mood to blog alrd. shall come bac when i feel like it. hehe (: lalalalala~

2005-11-29T13:14:00.000+08:00

haha tmr going school meet jo and becca to go buy textbooks and school u. then supp to go amk lib? hehe. ee have to carry the red colour plastic to there?! so ugly.. think i bringing a nicenice bag to put.. heex. hmm two more days is my cousin wedding le!! 30nov. whee! think it will be fun? hahas.. saying as if im the one getting married.. wahhaha.. haiz.. im not going fer stc.. im quite sad actually :( act i was looking forward to it de lor.. then pop out smth.. then cannot go.. haish.. BUT my heart will be with all of you!! u all have my moral support!! JIAYOU!! pia all the way le!! gambatte!!! go campers!!! go CEREDONS [jo, awyong, sohteng, char, pan, luiza, joy, jieyi]!!! all e way!!!! (:

2005-11-26T21:58:00.000+08:00

YAY i got my 2star cert! hahas. 3 cheers for myself!! eyy it wasn't easy for me okay! i damn scared the capsizing part lar!! haiz.. ESKIMO BOW IS CHAO FUN!!! wahha.. thanks a million to those who encouraged me. it helped alot ya? hahas.. hmm but pls rmb to stop cheering when i, abt to capsize.. sho scary leh! hahas..

2005-11-26T12:28:00.000+08:00

sick. flu. slight fever. kayaking tmr. haiz. quite sure i wun get the cert? ): joanna: dun stressed!! JIAYOUX!!

2005-11-25T09:52:00.000+08:00

yesterday combined kayaking. quite fun la. i paired with crystal ma'am for expedition cuz there's odd no. haiiyo so scary can. i scared of her. hahas.. hmm she damn strong la. i didnt use MUCH strength then the kayak still moved so quickly.. hahas.. whee! the kayak was fast~ so shuang. funfun! (: hehex. but i REALLY got paddle lor! i'm nicee n got integrity de hor! never bluff n fake. then the capsize part.. i did with audrey cuz siewen cant capsize bcos of knee injury. ee i feel so bad ): audrey: so sorry! i make u rock so hard and long before i dare to capsize.. reali sorwee leh.. but the second time was MUCH faster ritex?! heez. thankyou everyone (squadmates, sec2s, kz, crys, xw, chuan) for your encouragement!! :D hmm i've come to a conclusion. i can capsize correctly with a starllum. but not dancer. haiz..

2005-11-18T22:01:00.000+08:00

kayaking tmr. should i go or should i not.

2005-11-13T13:26:00.000+08:00

I HATE 2 STAR KAYAKING!!!! totally. i just couldnt do the capsize drill what ! i dont know why. but just got the phobia cannot meh!? i've been scared of water since young la! so actually it was a miracle that i got my 1 star kayking cert lol! seriously. i dont know how to overcome this feeling la! i really scared of the moment of turning over mah. i also dunno how i did the capsize drill in 1 satr leh.. RAHH! to my squadmates: thanks for your encouragement! but it seemed that the more you all said, the more i cried. haha sorry i really dont think i can overcome this leh. its like i can do everything else, even the hip flick (capsizing halfway) but i just dont dare capsize myself. sorry la i feel so useless. wasting ur time. i really dont know whether i should continue the course not.. cuz if i want, i HAVE to do the capsize drill properly. sighs. i got one blue-black on my forehead cuz got hit too many times by someone's paddle during kayaking. got another blue-black on my hand cos of rifle drills and another one on my leg cos of, erm, dunno what.. hahaha.

2005-11-11T13:04:00.000+08:00

im too lazy to blog these days.